UPDATE: Is progress is the real success?
What we call success is wildly subjective and fluctuating, but progress is not.
Greetings folks and friends,
It’s the point in the summer where it seems like everyone’s on vacation, but for self-employed creatives it can be hard to take time away.
If you’re like me, there is a strong pull to constantly grind and strive, and you are always calculating the potential missed opportunities from being unavailable.
I wanted to re-share this, to remind you to stop and look around.
Wherever you may be in your creative journey, it’s further along than you were at the start.
I wrote this over a year ago, at a point when I felt like nothing was moving, to remind myself of the wins I’d had and how far I’d come. This week I updated it.
It’s a very uplifting exercise.
xxC
Songpairing
*** This is about my favorite instrumental track ever and it sounds like plodding and trodding towards transcendence. I think transcendence can feel like that sometimes. ***
I was going to take a week off from posting, as I spent the first half of the week in the studio recording three new songs, and the second half of the week preparing (and cleaning up after) my son’s 6th birthday party. I also came down with a cold and/or covid, and I am tired and weary.
But then it occurred to me how totally fucking cool it is that I can say I spent half the week in an actual recording studio (that is not my basement), working with actual professional musicians and recording engineers.
I started this Substack in October 2023 right before I released my first self-produced original track (under an artist name that I would soon scrap.)1
It was my personal outlet to write about the creative re-awakening I was having as a forty-year-old wife and mom of two.
My central struggle is the same now as it was then: looking myself squarely in the face, and seeing an artist. Not someone with “cute little hobbies,” not someone in the midst of a mid-life crisis, but a real live singer/songwriter artist-performer person.
Yet, ego hesitation notwithstanding, I am doing it y’all!
Since first voicing this intention in October 2023, I have spent many hours writing and rewriting my songs, honing my skills and playing at all of the open mics I can squeeze in.
But I have also had producers, studios, press, and an actual paying show fall into my lap!
The interesting thing is that the more I shut up and just do it— just put one foot in front of the other—the more my subconscious mind adapts to the idea.
For me, acting ‘as if’ lessens my imposter syndrome instead of exacerbating it, which is counter-intuitive.
Is this success? I don’t know.
But it’s progress, and I made it.
which brings me to my next point—
The notion of success is a silly, fleeting concept.
When you’re gauging it by metrics or money, as we’re taught to do, there is never an end-point.
Unless you intentionally hit pause, you won’t ever actually feel successful.
This is why it’s helpful to stop, take stock and celebrate the wins. I have a catalog of output in my head that is my for-now end-game, but good grief have I accomplished a lot in the past 9 months.
Plus, my goals are ridiculous. I want to emphasize that if your goals are also akin to catapulting pies into the sky, and you have actually taken tangible, physical steps towards achieving them, APPLAUSE FOR YOU!
That shit is hard. Learning to take yourself and your delusional goals seriously is hard.
If you haven’t yet, may you be encouraged by my words here. Most people will assume I am a failure if they haven’t heard me on Top 40 radio, but success, to me, is also just having the courage to do what I said I would, and here I am doing it.
You can too.
Start by chopping your wood and carrying your water, as they say.
Which brings me to my biggest recent win.
A few weeks ago, I attended the Manish Arora exhibit at the SCAD fashion museum here in Atlanta. It was so beautifully done, and so colorful that I left feeling inspired to add some whimsy to my wardrobe.
A week later I found myself at my favorite consignment store approaching the check out counter with a ridiculous (but awesome) beaded shorts set that looked custom made and out of a Lisa Frank-fueled dream.
The person at the check out counter remarked how unique it was. Indeed.
Where do you plan to wear it?,” they asked.
Valid question.
“I’m a musician and I have a show coming up. I think it will be great on stage.”
I said it!
I looked them in the eyes and said it, without a single fucking tinge of apology or embarassment.
I may not have a million streams or follows, but that, my friends, is progress.
Which, to me, in this moment, feels like success.
That concludes the original post, but let me share some updates from 2025:
I remember how proud I felt when I told a stranger I was a musician. Today I have no idea how many strangers I have said this to because I say it to everyone when they ask. It doesn’t make me feel like an imposter anymore. I think this is the most substantial change from last year. I feel like I belong in this game, my energy is not giving “sheepish”, and I take myself seriously.
When I wrote this last year, I was playing occasional paying gigs with a cover band that I was in, but had only just booked my first paying show as an original act. I’ve since had five or so more paying gigs, and have a mailing list and merch and all the other trappings of a professional.
I’ve written and recorded more new songs. Last year I had one song out, this year I have 7—soon to be 8— and I have an entire album done.
I’ve been on podcasts, I’ve gotten write-ups in local press and national music blogs and was accepted into a songwriters writing program this summer where I made some incredible connections and really started to feel ingratiated into the Atlanta music scene.
BUT…self-doubts are pesky little buggers. Sometimes I think I should be further along. For instance, my spotify listeners have dropped precipitously because I haven’t released anything in a while, and I haven’t been trying to book myself on any big shows because I’ve been devoted to finishing up this album.
I guess this makes it somewhat of a by-year for me, but starting in September I’ve already got a live show, a podcast and a youtube pilot booked to promote the new music, and it’s all coming easier and faster than it did last year.
The average person might still consider me a failure because they haven’t heard of me, but I still maintain that success is having the courage to do what you said you were gonna do, and goshdarnit, year over year, with every step I’m doing it.
How do you define success?
Are you holding specific metrics or targets in your head?
What are your goals for your art?
2026 Goals:
Ok I’m just going to say it: I’m going to sell this song in the next year because it belongs as the underscore to the opening monologue in a quirky rom com.
Check it out, let me know if you agree? (it officially comes out September 12, but you can all listen now because I like you.)
Thank you for reading. If this resonates with you, please like and share to help it find others. <3
Next week: Did I ever tell you about the time when a Grammy-award winning music producer showed up to my house for brunch? This actually happened and I’m talking all about it next week.
I’ve since scrapped another one too. I think we’re sticking with what we’ve got now, but don’t forget to allow yourself to evolve creatively.
My recent post is soooooooooooooo similar to this! and I agree with so many things you talk about such as telling people WHAT YOU DO as an artist is a success in itself despite if you are just getting started or have been at for years (like myself, 25 yrs and counting!) P.S. that "lisa frank outfit" is a dream thrift find! And the fashion exhibit looks amazing. I just went to a Jeremey Scott one in KC not that long ago.
Thanks for sharing this!! It’s something that SO many of us go through as artists, and speaking it out is to claim it — To claim that you’re worthy of the dreams and goals you have regardless of that pesky self-saboteur. I love that you’re doing that and I look forward to following and hearing more of your journey! ✨